further particulars for the curious

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the names of my parents

Apparently other people find it confusing when I refer to my various parents. I'm more or less used to the idea that you call relatives one thing to their face, and other things in the third person - depending to whom you are speaking - but for those with more straightforward families, here is a guide:

  Biological Mother Biological Father Stepfather
Called, by:      
Me Mother Dad Dad
My BM ~ Colin Mike
My BF "Um..." ~ Never spoken
My stepfather Bonnie Never spoken ~
My stepmother No ideaColin Never spoken
Referred to as, by:     
Me, to my BM ~ Father Daddy
Me, to my BF Mother ~ Would avoid mentioning
Me, to my SF Mother Colin ~
Me, to my SM Mum Dad Would avoid mentioning
Me, to anyone else Mother Father Dad
My BM, to me Mum Your father Daddy
My BF, to me Your mother Dad Would never mention
My SF, to me Mum Daddy Colin Dad
My SM, to me Your mum Your dad Your mum's husband

I didn't make a column for my stepmother, because she, sensible person she is, is always called by her name. Which is a great relief. The dog, however, has a kennel name ('Pettifer Black Orchid') and an everyday name ('Pip'), and is known to me as the pig-dog.