P E R T E L O T E

further particulars for the curious

the names of my parents

Apparently other people find it confusing when I refer to my various parents. I'm more or less used to the idea that you call relatives one thing to their face, and other things in the third person - depending to whom you are speaking - but for those with more straightforward families, here is a guide:

	Biological Mother	Biological Father	Stepfather
Name	Bonnie	Colin	Mike
Called, by:
Me	Mother	Dad	Dad
My BM	~	Colin	Mike
My BF	"Um..."	~	Never spoken
My stepfather	Bonnie	Never spoken	~
My stepmother	No idea	Colin	Never spoken
Referred to as, by:
Me, to my BM	~	Father	Daddy
Me, to my BF	Mother	~	Would avoid mentioning
Me, to my SF	Mother	Colin	~
Me, to my SM	Mum	Dad	Would avoid mentioning
Me, to anyone else	Mother	Father	Dad
My BM, to me	Mum	Your father	Daddy
My BF, to me	Your mother	Dad	Would never mention
My SF, to me	Mum	Daddy Colin	Dad
My SM, to me	Your mum	Your dad	Your mum's husband

I didn't make a column for my stepmother, because she, sensible person she is, is always called by her name. Which is a great relief. The dog, however, has a kennel name ('Pettifer Black Orchid') and an everyday name ('Pip'), and is known to me as the pig-dog.